So there are crossroads and then there are crossroads. The are choices
and then there are choices. You most often times think and believe that
the worst has come and start to relax knowing that you have survived.
The adage "what does not kill you..." is so apt. The old geezer who
coined it must have seen and gone through a lot. I scoffed at it as a
younger man. Now it's like a freaking guiding rule. Stand up, brace
yourself and prod on. I get knocked down (good thing that it isn't up
with all the knocking that I get) and there are times when I wonder if
it is worth the effort to try and get vertical again.
I shake my head and groan. I am writing this so I haven't succumbed yet.
Am I vertical? No of course not. On my knees with one hand on the ground
for leveling that's what it is. Literally and figuratively. Is it okay?
Of course not silly. But we take what life gives and make the most out
of it. One surprising item of note is the presence of hope. It's
unwillingness to leave me now, even after my best efforts to shoo it
away. There is no denying it now, I have turned into a d*mned tooting
optimist. That while I am holding the remains of the fuse, and standing
at ground zero. I've been blowing lives apart like an overheated beaker
filled with tri nitro toluene. Something tells me I am not done yet.
Am I angry? No. Wrathful? No. Somehow it all feels - empty. The void
feels very comfy actually. So here's another lesson for me. I haven't
reached the other side yet.
| |
|
