Then you wake up. To a sullen, sulking angel. Still beside you. Yet
fraught with turbulence and emotions. Calm on the outside, choking her
underneath the surface. Then the words come out and she starts to pour
her heart out steadily building in intensity. You know it's coming. You
know the words. You feel it arriving and you know it's going to be one
painful and whacked ride. You know it because most of it is the truth.
Except for the truth that you will be there in the end. How can you say
that? How? When the deck is stacked against you. Everyone in the
universe says so.
You realize then. After all of this, you still are alone. With her, yes.
Ultimately alone. It ends there, where it started. The chasm you look at
more imposing now than it ever was. You try to box yourself up and weep
inside. The hand that touches you is there, yet the souls are miles
apart. There is no solace, as you have no one with you really. No one
stands by you. No one trusts you. No one willing enough to try. The one
that does, does so with a lot of trepidation. What else can you do
anyway? You can't expect it. You can expect not being trusted though.
You tell yourself I'll make everyday count. I will work on it, and make
the moments matter. I will be there. You try to choke your fear too. The
angel's turbulence might drive her away before the day of deliverance
does arrive.
The sad thing about it is - You kept being told there is no way you
could stay. Even when you do. But you can't say "Will you stay?".
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